i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
trying to write essays
Oh, there’s the flying fuck i never gave
I know that my style of joking with friends involves insults but if I ever say something that actually hurts your feelings even if I was joking and you know I was joking please tell me and I wont say that again because its not fun or funny if you’re actually hurting because of what I said
reblogging here for that tag. always be wary of people who don’t respect your space. always.
Im gonna reblog and lose all my followers now, brb
They took the chance and knocked it out of the park!
On the phone with my friend in korea and he’s explaining to me in english that he must stop smoking because he doesn’t want to become impotent.
Walking down Gangnam street he says (in english) “I must stop smoking for my dick. My dick is important. If my dick does the broken I cannot sex.”
and I hear in absolute plain english behind him “WHAT”
last night some kid spilled nachos all over himself and he was so sad and I leaned over and whispered into his ear “I guess it’s nacho day” and he’s probably plotting my death right now
Divergent: a summary.
This bathtub in the house of Mexican drug lord Joaquin “Chapo” Guzman leads to an underground tunnel and exits through the city’s drainage system.
Some Like it Hot (1959)
Nineteen. Fifty. Fucking. Nine.
I PAINTED A MERBOT (their fins unfold into arms) (sometimes they make themself ‘hair’ out of kelp/seaweed and pretend they are a ‘human siren’)
AAAA LOOK AT THIS
Today I learned that the Curiosity sang itself ‘Happy Birthday’ on its year anniversary of being on Mars.
Hundreds of thousands of miles from anyone or anything.
Guys I am depressed over robots now.
oh god this is the saddest thing i have ever read